How a Sexual Massage Experience Helped Me Explore the Fantasy of Being Restrained
I always had a secret fantasy that I was never brave enough to bring up in my romantic relationships. I didn’t want the men I was with to lose respect for me or think anything negative about me just because I was fantasizing about this. I simply wasn’t confident enough to let them know that I was dreaming about being restrained. Little did I know, I would get to experience this during a sexual massage experience.
The truth is, there is something quite intoxicating to me about the idea of being restrained, and having to submit to someone else’s touch. I have never been in that vulnerable of a position before, to just have to accept how someone else wants to touch me – to be at the mercy of someone else’s will.
The dynamic of dominant and submissive had always fascinated me. What was it that amused me so much about the idea of having to give my will over to someone else? I think I imagined it would be a very liberating feeling – to have my freedom of choice removed, to just be in submission and just roll with however I was to be touched.
It really was difficult to find someone who I trusted enough to submit to in this way, though. I couldn’t even get comfortable enough with most men to admit that I enjoyed this fantasy… let alone get comfortable enough to request the experience. There was a specific kind of trust required to ask someone to restrain you. You had to know in your heart that that person would not harm you.
What I craved was to be restrained, and to be served with an overload of pleasure during a sexual massage experience. I wanted to feel forced to receive a deluge of pleasure. I wanted the feeling of having no escape. I wanted to feel like I had to submit, to fully open and receive the pleasure that was being served to me.
This felt like a request that was just too much to make of the men that I’d been in relationships with. It felt to me like if I was going to let a man tie me up, I’d have to be prepared for him to do ANYTHING to me, and that was an agreement I was just not prepared to make. There were definitely things that I did not feel comfortable subjecting my body to.
I mean… What if I let a man tie me up and he used it as an excuse to railroad any of my existing boundaries? What If, once he had me restrained, he used It as an excuse to victimize me?
This is what kept me from asking for what I wanted for a very long time. I was afraid that if I asked to be restrained, that that would mean that I would have to sacrifice every boundary I had, so I never felt safe enough to sign on for the experience, no matter how much I craved it.
Then I found out about yoni massage therapy. I found a website created by a local yoni massage therapist, and I was excited to see that his menu of options for experiences included the option of being restrained.
I knew it would take some exposure and a chance to get comfortable and feel safe with him in order to lean into engaging with this new fantasy – but what was so alluring was the fact that all aspects of the session would be up to me. I could decide where the boundaries needed to be, according to my own feeling of safety, and, since the yoni massage therapist’s greatest desire was to fill my fantasy, I could trust that his desire would not play a role during this service – it was all about what I desired.
Suddenly, this possibility opened before me, and I could not stop spending time with the fantasy. How would it feel to be faced with the exact scenario that I had been craving? How would it feel to be able to relax into the edge that I desired to explore, without worrying about whether other edges would be pressured?
The feeling was exquisitely liberating. I loved the idea of being tied down, being restrained, and having to submit to a deluge of the kind of pleasure I was craving. It was even more exciting to have my ability to say no revoked.
After fantasizing about it long enough, I finally decided to make the first appointment. Before I was even able to consider making the appointment for the restraining, I had to make an appointment to try out a basic yoni massage.
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It began with a full body massage, and it moved into teasing and pleasuring my most intimate of places, and it was utterly delicious. I would provide more detail, but this share is really about how delicious it was to explore restraint.
After my initial appointment, after I had decided that I was safe to trust this person and receive pleasure from them – that was when I asked to explore restraints. I wanted to explore pleasure through force. Pleasure through submission.
The yoni massage therapist was completely ready to supply me with my desire, and he invited me for a subsequent appointment. We would agree upon all of the rules and basic understandings beforehand.
When I showed up for this appointment I was extra nervous. I knew I had been dying to surrender at the level that I was denying to submit to pleasure, and this felt like a great opportunity.
I laid out my desires when it came to the experience with the yoni massage therapist. I did not want to be penetrated. I did not want to have to worry about sex. I wanted to be restrained, and I wanted to be pleasured, and I didn’t want to have to worry about reciprocation of pleasure for a man.
So, it was clear, for this session, I simply wanted to experience what it was like to be restrained, to be forced to continuously receive pleasure that was not related to penetration.
When it was time to begin, the yoni massage therapist had me remove my clothes and lie face down on the massage table. Right off the bat he made a show of typing each of my limbs to the legs of the massage table. He spread each of my legs wide and secured them to each corner, then he tied my arms down.
Just being aware that I was not able to get up and run off was highly erotic. I laid there in submission as he slowly and calmly stroked my whole body, including some slightly teasing touches in my more sensitive areas. He gave me nice and relaxing touches until I was visibly able to relax in this position.
Once he saw I was relaxed, he went for more erotic touches, and I delighted in the awareness that I could not squirm away. I was stuck there absorbing all of the touch that he was desiring to give me. I didn’t have a choice when it came to the kind of stimulation I was being served. This feeling was deeply erotic to me.
He teased my anal region and my pussy a bit from behind, mostly with long and light stroking touches, and then he untied me and had me flip over onto my back.
While lying on my back, he asked me to hold my own ankles, and then he restrained me in that position. Once restrained, I had to just lie there and accept any touch that he wanted to give, and he made it clear that he intended to stroke me to the point of orgasm.
Deeply turned on by the restraints, and the fact that I had not choice but to just lie back and accept the stimulation, I was able to relax to a point that made the pleasure absolutely mind-blowing. The more I was able to relax and submit to the circumstance, the more I was able to experience a deep layering of pleasure.
The yoni massage therapist stimulated my pussy to the point of an intense orgasm – and then just kept going with the stimulation, pushing me well beyond the limits of the pleasure I thought I was capable of receiving.
This ended up being a really safe-feeling sexual massage experience and way of receiving pleasure while in bondage that did not push me past where I felt comfortable going. The fact that I was paying for a service made it a really clear cut situation, and I got to experience only that which I desired, and none of the pressure that I was afraid of receiving. I found yoni massage to be a beautiful way to experience what I had been fantasizing about, while also getting to feel completely safe in the situation. It’s a way to make something really outside of the box work!