Sexual Healing Massage – Why I Believe Every Woman Should Experience Yoni Massage
A few years ago, I had no idea that yoni massage even existed. I had heard of men going to massage parlors for erotic massages, but I had never heard of such a pleasure service for women. Even now, it’s difficult to find much information about yoni massage or find much that is accessible to experience, in most places.
Yoni massage is actually an ancient practice, and a beautiful sexual healing massage modality. It is my belief, that with the way women’s sexuality has been treated culturally over the last couple, oh I don’t know, millennia, basically every woman alive could benefit from the healing experience of a yoni massage.
There are two main options that make it possible for women to have this experience. One is to go the professional route and set up a session with a trained yoni massage practitioner for a sexual healing massage. Another option is for an existing partner to learn about yoni massage and to practice it together.
Yoni Massage as Sexual Healing Massage
A yoni massage professional listens to your desired experience, and cares deeply about where your boundaries lie, as his highest aim is to provide you with an experience that feels safe, so that you can relax and open up to experiencing as much pleasure as possible.
A trained yoni massage professional has a very deep understanding about how pleasure functions in the body. A yoni massage therapist is trained to observe your body for cues about where and how you are experiencing the most pleasure and will follow your body’s cues to increase the amount of pleasure you are experiencing, likely until you climax.
In this professional context, you can have the freedom to experiment with different sexual experiences, with someone that you can trust is only interested in fulfilling your desires and helping you to feel safe and tended to. You can trust that this person is not interested in taking anything from you, or in using you to pleasure himself.
As an alternative, it is also possible for an existing partner to study this technique, and for you to build the practice of yoni massage into your relationship. This is a wonderful way to increase the level of emotional and physical intimacy that you experience with a partner. It’s also a great way to practice healthy communication of your desires and your boundaries with someone you love.
Why do I believe that either one of these experiences is well worth having for every woman? Because so many women struggle to experience the true depth of pleasure that is available for them to feel in their bodies because they are energetically disconnected from their bodies due to not feeling safe. Also, because most women struggle to claim the fullest extent of their desires because of how women are socialized.
Why do women tend to not feel safe in their bodies? Well, it is because most of us were raised in a culture that teaches us that our bodies and our pleasure do not belong to us. Most of us are socialized as women to prioritize the desires of others over our connection to our own innate desires, communicated by our bodies.
There are any subtle and unsubtle messages in mainstream media and pornography that suggest that a woman’s body exists for the pleasure of the other, whether that be the pleasure of men, or the pleasure of society.
Because of this, most women have many circumstances in which they might feel obligated to engage sexually when they don’t actually feel any real desire in their bodies relating to the interaction. What is often misunderstood as having less than awesome skills in the bedroom, as a woman, is often simply a complete lack of physical desire, and a woman driving herself through the motions as a means to an end.
Most women have had an experience in which she engaged in a sexual interaction that her innate desire was not entirely present for, in which she felt pressured or obligated in some way to provide access to her body or to provide physical pleasure to a man. When a woman engages in something like this when her body is not in agreement with what is taking place, her body then takes unconscious measures in an attempt to protect itself. This is why women get areas of tightness, or numbness, and areas of physical shutdown where the pleasure becomes no longer accessible.
It is because women have been socially trained to betray the level of innate desire that is or is not present in their own bodies. Most women are raised to be entirely self-sacrificing. Most women run themselves dry, giving to everyone around them, and often are left feeling like they have nothing left for themselves.
In many marriages, sexual engagement is treated like a “wifely duty,” or something like a chore that a woman performs for her husband because it is expected. All of the sexual attraction is drained from these connections because the woman is consistently engaging in sexual activities that her body doesn’t actually feel any desire for.
Much of this is just treated as “how things are” between men and women. Many of these things are just expected as relationship dynamics or sexual dynamics, or just “ how men and women are” or “how marriage is.”
I believe that this is not how women are meant to relate to their sexuality. I do not believe that women should be expected to guard their sexuality as though it is something sacred that can be taken from them. I do not believe that women are meant to be expected to perform sexually, or to give our sexuality to any other cause in order for someone else’s profit.
I believe that women should be able to own their own sexuality. To be sexually sovereign. To have complete freedom to explore their sexuality on their own or with others, according to their own innate desire and not according to anything else.
I believe that for a woman, her sexual expression is extremely natural and connected to the essence of who she is. A woman being able to express her sexuality is a part of being able to express herself in the fullness of who she is. To suppress it, is to suppress her true self.
Yoni massage is a really wonderful arena to gently and safely begin to explore the nature of that which has felt so off limits for so many long years. Many women experience deep emotional release when they set the intention during a yoni massage session to release something that is holding them back from experiencing the fullness of their pleasure.
Yoni massage can help process grief from old pain, fears from old trauma. It can help the body communicate what has been holding it back from the experience of the full spectrum of pleasure that is possible to experience.
Yoni massage can also be an opportunity to shift the energy and dynamic that you have with men. By allowing a masculine man to provide pleasure and by choosing to trust him and surrender to the process, a woman puts herself in a position to dramatically shift her experiences with men in general.
What we change in one area of our life has ripple effects in other areas of our life. The more we dive into exploring our sexual freedom, the more we begin to explore our freedom in other areas of our lives, as well, as a natural result.
As a part of women reclaiming their personal power, I believe it is essential for women to explore their sexuality, and her sensual relationship to everything around her. Practicing being connected and present in your body, allowing waves of pleasure energy to permeate through you – it has a dramatically grounding affect.
Most women experience some level of disconnection from their body, and this practice can help you learn how to stay more connected, energetically, to your experience in your body. It can help you learn how to better communicate with your body, as you will better be able to discern it’s cues and what it is saying to you. The more present and aware you become, the more you open to receive the entirety of pleasure, the more deeply connected you will be to your body’s physical experience.
There is so much power for a woman in being better connected to her body and her sensuality. In truth, our bodies are our deepest source of wisdom and our greatest navigation systems, as women. This is why I feel yoni massage is such an important practice, as it encourages growth and exploration in so many ways that are foundational to a woman’s power and sexual sovereignty.
Yoni massage can help you get clear on exactly what you desire to experience, and it can help you learn how to open and receive it. All women deserve to identify specifically what they desire and receive it with love.
